Kacie is The Public. More specifically, she said it would be fair to describe her as “A woman who doesn’t closely follow the contemporary art scene but might go to a show this summer”.

ARTILLERY: Are you excited about going to see art now that the lockdown has ended?

KACIE: Uh, I don’t know—I wanted to show you this, though…“Some Were Quite Blind” Gainesville, Florida, four metal statues of massive animal penises stand outside the University Animal Sciences Building.

Do you feel like this is art that you can relate to?

Yeah.

Do you know which penis belongs to which animal?

It says “The ones represented are a boar, a cat, a bull, and a ram.”

That’s great…Is this an arrangement of sculptures that you’d like to go see or are you just glad to know that it’s there?

Um—I think it’d be funny to take a picture in front of it.

Okay, I’m to go through some museum shows that are going on in LA right now and see what looks good.

Sure!

So according to the website, this show will address… (museum-speak about a lot of social issues)… apparently a very heavy show?

Yeah!

Tackling a lot of issues. So would you ever be like “You know what I would like to do this summer is enter into dialogue on issues of offering space to contemplate a better society?

I do that already.

You mean without an art show? But how?

I don’t know, I just…

I mean it just seems really hard. They have paintings.

I know but I don’t need to look at art to have those discussions.

I think the museum is proposing it might help. Wouldn’t you feel like discussing a better world if this (pointing) was there and there was a bench?

Mmm…I don’t know.

There’s a gift shop.

I feel like whoever designed the show didn’t understand the assignment.

(The discussion is now briefly derailed by Kacie telling me that there was a guy who wouldn’t stop following her and she went with him to the Getty because she “didn’t have anything else to do” but she didn’t fuck him.)

“Silk and Swan Feathers: A Luxurious 18th-Century Armchair.” Anyway there appears to be a whole exhibit about one chair. Would you go to the museum just to see this chair?

I don’t think so. It doesn’t seem like anything real special. And I don’t see swans. I feel misled.

You feel misled.

Maybe if the chair was shaped like a swan.

“Power, Justice and Tyranny in the Middle Ages”

(Raised eyebrow)

So there’s some Middle Ages art. This guy has funny hands. Would you go see this show with your stalker?

I mean are there more like violent pictures? That’s what I was hoping for.

Heads cut off and stuff?

Yeah.

Well: “Assyria, Palace Art of Ancient Iraq”. He’s got a bull head, these guys are shooting arrows, “The Humiliation of the Elamite Kings”. Would you be like “Hey guys I want to see the Humiliation of the Elamite Kings, are you guys coming?”

I mean of everything they’re offering this is the most appealing to me.

Because it has the most violence?

It has the most lions!

Okay, Larry Bell “Bill and Coo at MOCA’s Next.” “He extends his decades of experimentation with glass…”.

It’s glass not like acrylic or whatever?

Yeah he made some cubes, they’re glass.

I mean, they’re pink?

I think they’re translucent red-ish so they look pink there.

I like them if they’re pink.

What if they’re the color they appear to be over here in this photo?

Then it’s less exciting.

What if it was lions?

Even better if it was lions in there.

Pink lions?

Any lions.

Any lions?

Yeah, in the glass.

So you like things that are pink, you like lions, but making lions pink doesn’t make it better?

I guess I just never considered it.

Okay but imagine, close your eyes. Close your eyes! Pink lion. Lion…Now it’s pink! Is it better?

Yeah.

What if you went to the zoo and there was a lion in a cage but instead of the normal cage it was inside this?

Yeah, it’d be dope. They need to make more fashion at zoos.

The zoos should be more stylish. The animals should have cooler enclosures?

Yeah.