Dear Babs, My longtime friend recently started painting and selling his art online. We live in different cities, and it’s been hard to meet because of the pandemic, but he’s having me over soon, and I know he’s going to want my thoughts about his art. The problem is I think his paintings are just awful. I don’t want to offend him, but I also don’t want to lie. What do I do?

—White Liar in La La Land

Dear White Liar, It’s easy for new artists like your friend to get discouraged by negative criticism, so it’s best to give them as much encouragement as possible. But this doesn’t mean you have to lie.

Start by getting to know your friend’s art on their terms. Ask them to talk about what they want their viewers to see in their paintings. How do they want their viewers to interpret what they see? You want to understand your friend’s intentions with their art. If they have trouble articulating their intentions, this is an excellent opportunity to help them figure that out. Ask them what questions they are searching to answer.

Then feed them a praise sandwich. Begin by telling them where their paintings succeed. I don’t care how much you hate their art; you can find things in it that successfully align with their intentions. You don’t have to “like” what you’re seeing; you just have to assure your friend that you see it. If they wanted to paint puppies playing basketball and you see just that, then that’s a success. Then give some productive criticism, pointing out where you think the art doesn’t communicate in the way your friend wants. Then complete the sandwich with another observation about where the art succeeds. You can repeat this process for as long as necessary. If you do this enough, you’ll both come to an understanding of their art that transcends knee-jerk tastes and biases. Who knows, maybe you might learn to love the art along the way. If you don’t, that’s okay too. Unless they are making paintings specifically for you, it shouldn’t matter anyway.