Perspicacious Periwinkle is an avid reader of The Tarot, having once predicted the sudden death of the world’s oldest rhinoceros in Zambia, and a cataclysmic wind event that no one witnessed off the Cape of Good Hope. It is safe to say that PP as she calls herself on her world-famous blog, Off the Tongue, is the most renowned (albeit self-proclaimed) psychic healer in the world, though she does have a few singular detractors. Having once prophesied that unicorns were making a fierce comeback, she drew criticism from famed unicorn historian, Sondra Bleachhorn, who claimed PP’s prophesies were not only bogus but very dangerous as a newly formed itinerant group of unicorn worshippers who call themselves the Cornites, threatened to blow up several historical monuments that feature horses, demanding that the equine be replaced with unicorns.

Contrary to popular belief, Perspicacious Periwinkle is not an advocate of the Black Arts and is a close friend of the famed singer/songwriter Stevie Nicks who in addition to making fabulous music is also a white witch. Like Nicks, PP has been known to concoct potions in the dead of night and often takes specific requests. For example, a woman in Des Moines Iowa once asked her to create a love potion so Barry Manilow would leave his husband for her.

In addition to formulating fantastic love potions, PP is also a specialist in undiagnosed and often bizarre ailments such as Alice in Wonderland syndrome which consists of an alteration of visual perception wherein the sizes of body parts are perceived incorrectly. PP was once written up in a medical journal for having found the cure for Alien Hand syndrome where the person loses control of one hand which acts as if it has a mind of its own. Perspicacious Periwinkle found that by mixing artichoke hearts with licorice and cat piss, a person with this syndrome would suddenly begin crocheting furiously, and the aberrant hand would eventually settle down.

Suffice it to say, PP is now considered a living legend and has gone on to host her own television show on HBO called How Blue is Your Sapphire where people from all over the world bring her antique jewelry to deduce whether it is haunted.  Of course, it’s a massive success.

  • Jean-Honoré Fragonard, "Blind Man's Bluff," 1750.

  • Paul Cézanne, "Lac D'Annecy," 1896.

  • Joan Mitchell, "La Grande Vallée V," 1983.

  • Claude Monet, "Rouen Cathedral, West Façade," 1894.