Bill Clinton leads with his nose— always has and always will. Not that his nose really minds being the center of attention—the first one to enter a room or the first one to greet the onslaught of cameras as the press push closer in for another, better money shot of the “great proboscis.” Some (Pejoratively) refer to his nose as Rudolph (as in the famed Reindeer) because his nose is almost always red.
Over the years, many people have weighed in on this phenomenon, attributing the redness alternately to rosacea, rhinophyma, heavy drinking, allergens, windburn, spider veins, or a simple allergic reaction to politics. But in the end, no one really knows for sure why Bill Clinton’s nose is so red.
His nose is rapidly becoming the stuff of legend and myth. Some even go so far as to claim Clinton’s great nose is an omen, a symbol, an emissary of great (or at least red) things to come! And man has that nose stood witness to some of the greatest moments in history, and some less illustrious too—from Rhodes Scholar to Monica Lewinsky—that nose has certainly seen it all, and with each new brave world and conquest, the redness of his nose, deepens. Some have suggested that Clinton ate too many burgers, and his nose now pays the price. Others claim, like Pinocchio, that Clinton told too many lies and in a strange twist of fate, his nose, instead of growing lengthwise, simply turned red.
The question is, did it impede his time in office, or did it instead empower him to even greater feats of political acumen? No one will ever really know the truth, and perhaps Clinton’s schnozzle was the impetus for his striving tirelessly to become the forty-second president of the United States, which, these days, seems less and less united! Perhaps what we need now is an irreverent nose, a fierce and fearless outlier of justice, a courageous proboscis to lead us bravely into victory!
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