Author: admin

  • Gallery Girls

    Gallery Girls

    IF ANY OUTLIER SLEEPER CELLS OF AL QAEDA need further evidential motivation to make another terrorist strike against the decadent West, they need look no further than Bravo’s new so-called reality series Gallery Girls. In a desperate ploy to further capitalize on the machinations of the New York art world—as they did with their earlier Work of Art—Bravo and LA-based production company Magical Elves have unleashed an inexcusable mutant offspring. Appealing to their proven demographic of gay men and the mentally disabled, these television crap peddlers have cooked up a series wherein a coven of privileged, loosely connected millennial shrews suffer the First World humiliations of working extended, unpaid internships at gallery front desks, assisting personal art advisors and making a go at running their own boutique-galleries.

    The nascent gallerists consist of anxious, entrepreneurial brunette Claudia, who worries that the $15K loan from her family will never be repaid because she charges too much for art that nobody wants, and her partner Chantal, who exhibits the worst traits of her narcissistic generation. With a voice like the scraping of a soggy balloon and an affectation to match, Chantal lowers clueless selfishness to a new, grotesque nadir. She’s the type who shows up to work late and leaves early and can’t figure out why everyone has a problem with it. Like, whatever.

    Young punching bag Maggie can’t escape her endless codependent internship for misogynist Asian-art dealer Eli Klein, the sort of Jewish caricature that only a Nazi propagandist could fabricate. He repeatedly, callously insists that Maggie perform demeaning tasks like counting the hundreds of pebbles in a plant-based sculpture or scrubbing floors while he grinningly sucks up to wealthy prospective buyers.

    Fag hag, part-time model and party photographer Angela brings some sass and sarcasm to the mix but is also annoyingly self-absorbed, and is more concerned with creating hype around her “fine art” than actually making it anything other than sophomoric and mediocre. On her prowl for a heterosexual male partner she is frustrated about the shrinking stock of available men and claims that anyway she can’t date a man who doesn’t have an iPhone and a Gmail account.

    The most interesting thing about Liz is her schlubby, estranged father who also happens to be a well-known collector. She is well set up in an expensively decorated apartment pursuing a degree at SVA, where she complains about the preponderance of Asian students. An ex-junkie with a wounded heart and some serious daddy issues, she has a certain realness to her despite having grown up about as destitute as Mitt Romney.

    Amy is the brazen, know-it-all heifer who sucks as much alcohol as she does air and turns into a raging hot mess when she hits the bottle, which is often enough that everyone complains about it. The best contribution she could make to society would be getting fatally run over by a truck, thus reducing the burden on the health-care system and being a job creator in the mortuary industry.

    The least offensive character is Kerri, who actually works a real, paid day job as a personal concierge (yes, that’s a real, paid job) while interning for art advisor Sharon Hurowitz. She manages to embody the myth of the Long Island girl from the blue-collar background trying to improve her station in life in the big city. She is sincere and straightforward and does not reek of the oppressive entitlement of her cohorts, which may eventually lead to her undoing.

    In a flailing, transparent attempt at street cred, the producers have “cleverly” named each episode after a Velvet Underground tune, perhaps to pave the way for a new VU line of perfume or handbags marketed at young women whose only form of expression is shopping.

    In addition, they try to drum up a kind of rivalry between the uptown bottle blonds with their meathead banker boyfriends and the “funky” Brooklynites with their metrosexual mates who are all skinny jeans and nerd glasses. It is refreshing to know that the diverse population of New York City can’t be so easily reduced to embarrassing stereotypes.

    There is some twisted guilty pleasure to be had in watching overeducated women cat scratch at each other and humiliate themselves as they chase after some unspecified “dream,” but mostly it is a shame-filled experience that leaves the viewer with a fecal taste in the mouth and a deep resentment for having carved even one second of precious time from this short life to squander on such a vile and pointless fiasco.

    Gallery Girls, Bravo, Mondays, 10/9c

  • Editor’s Letter

    Editor’s Letter

    Dear Readers,

    Tulsa KinneyI’m sitting in a media booth at an art fair on a sweltering late August afternoon writing this editor’s letter. It’s not working because I keep getting interrupted, but there’s air conditioning, so I’m not complaining.

    Even though fair-goers tend to have a glazed look on their face by the time they wander into the magazine section of an art fair, they somehow come to life when they get to Artillery, tethering me to the booth with their many questions. I did manage to get away toward the end of the day however, and go see some art. Since so little time was left, I made sure to visit Co/Lab this time, a section that mainly features nonprofit and artist-run spaces. I knew this was where I would most likely see fresh work as opposed to the obviously market-driven art so often exhibited at fairs.

    Now that the fair is over (and on to the next!), most of the art I saw is just a blur. But there was this one piece, a plastic fork—apparently used—hanging on the gallery wall just like another piece of art, even though it was clearly just an ordinary plastic fork, perhaps at one time accompanied by some take-out food. The flimsy cheap white tongs were even stained an orange-brown, seemingly glistening from a recent meal.

    I didn’t pay much attention to the fork the first time I saw it. I progressed swiftly to the next piece, which I found to be much more interesting (even though I can hardly recall it now). I was ready to move on when the artist stopped me and wanted to know what I thought of his fork piece.

    I told him that I had in fact seen it, but it hadn’t interested me enough to ponder its significance. The artist promptly launched into a spiel about the symbolism of the used plastic fork, how it represented artists and poverty and how Top Ramen noodles were the only meal starving artists could afford during their student days. I listened to him for a while then asked, “How much?” He told me $1,000. I flinched at first, but then decided that that was probably a good price. (Why not ask $1,000?) But mainly—the artist made sure I knew—the fork was in honor of a now successful friend who still eats Top Ramen to this day, even though he could easily afford a daily diet of Lobster Bisque.

    It wasn’t until after the fair, however, that the plastic fork really began to resonate for me. It wasn’t because it was a sublime piece of art, (okay, it’s a little silly to suggest that it’s sublime); rather, it was the artist, that continued to fascinate me. Whether he had just finished a bowl of Top Ramen and decided at the last minute to put the fork on the wall and call it art really doesn’t matter. What matters is how much he wanted to tell me, his audience, why it was important to him.

    Or was he just playing with my mind? Whatever the case may be, I felt like he was making art, right in front of me, and that that’s what creating is all about. And that’s what this issue is all about. The artists. No fairs, no biennials, no auctions. Just the artists, the ones who really make this big, expansive art world go ’round, and are probably eating Top Ramen noodles right now.

  • Editor’s Letter

    Editor’s Letter

    Tulsa KinneyHAPPY BIRTHDAY, ARTILLERY! 5 YEARS OLD!

    ANNIVERSARIES MARK cycles, patterns, reasons to keep going. If you make it one year, you might as well go another. All of a sudden, it’s five years. Now you’re committed. I could apply that logic to quitting smoking (which I did) and to startingArtillery.

    My soon-to-be co-founder said, “Let me finish my book, and I’ll help you start your art magazine.” But it was what he said afterward — “Remember, once you start, you can never go back” — that still echoes in my mind today.

    Amid my paranoia and delusions of grandeur, we did put out our debut issue of Artillery, with Paul Takizawa as art director and my husband, Charles Rappleye, as publisher. I didn’t know what Artillerywas yet. I was just making art, only with words and a computer. Our first issue featured Catherine Opie breast-feeding her son. It’s a famous photo now. I think Regen Projects never forgave us for that. We didn’t know any better, really. We butchered the image. We cropped the hell outta it, blew it up, overlaid type, put another image by Opie on top of it — everything imaginable that was against all the rules. If you’re reading this, Cathy, please forgive us, for we knew not better.

    After Opie, there was an artist, Andrew Krasnow, who used human skin as his medium. He made an American flag out of flesh — dyed red, white and blue. He held his “flag” to the camera, and that ended up as our third cover. That seemingly patriotic image, with our logo — just the word “artillery” — made it clear to us that it wasn’t clear to others what the magazine was all about. And that is when — many miles from Miami, on our way home to Los Angeles in a rented car after our first art fair — the subtitle “Killer Text on Art” was conceived.

    We steadily built an audience and started to make our presence felt. We changed printers after we were censored twice (thanks to David Humphrey’s visual column, New York Barrage). By then, there were two other start-up art magazines published in LA — one is gone now, but the other remains. After our lone ex–LA Weekly sales rep stopped showing up and started signing his e-mails “God Bless You,” we weren’t entirely sure what our fate would be. Then came Paige Wery (dare I thank God?), who became our publisher in January 2008.

    Paige coming onboard felt like our second act, along with the arrival of our creative director, Bill Smith, who joined us around the same time. Bill brought skills honed at Mean magazine and a new look, cleaner and slicker, while Paige took over advertising and pushed us from 64 to 80 pages, and today 96 pages. Our events and her Live Art Debates make her a tour de force and someone to be reckoned with — just ask our advertisers! She’s made Artillery a staple at art fairs and helped establish us as LA’s premier contemporary art magazine.

    The beginning of our fifth year could open our third act. That sounds a bit premature, but we feel confident the best is yet to come; with several new writers and editors, the Artillery team just keeps getting stronger.

    Thank you, Los Angeles art galleries, dealers and institutions. You made us what we are today. Without your support, there would be no Artillery. And thanks to all of my loyal contributors, who excel with their writing skills and pitches and stay on top of it. I definitely couldn’t do it without you.

    And finally, to you, my dear readers — who else would I write this letter to? I thank you for sticking around, because we’re sticking around too.

    —Tulsa Kinney