MEN
1. Apple watch
2. Bow ties
3. Cocaine
4. Acne (the label, not the skin condition)
5. Tiny designer purebred dogs (extra points for hairless ones)
6. Paint splattered boots
7. Statement eyeglasses aka face furniture
8. Sunglasses indoors
9. Ethnic clothing that is not of your ancestry
10. All-black outfits
(WAIT, THERE’S MORE!)
11. Orthodox Jewish hats worn in hip-hop style
13. Tunic length T-shirts (aka longline shirts)
14. Kanye West/Adidas collaborations
15. Pharrell Williams/Adidas collaborations
16. Yohji Yamamoto (Y3)/Adidas collaborations
17. Thom Browne-style suits that look shrunken
18. Leather gloves
19. Rolled-up pant legs to show off bare ankle and shoes
20. Jacket with shorts and leather oxfords
WOMEN
1. Gray/purple old-lady hair on young women
2. Hedi Slimane–era YSL
3. Knockoff Gucci tiered prairie dresses
4. Washed-out high-waist mom jeans
5. Tiny designer purebred dogs (extra points for dyed fur)
6. Celine eyeglasses (or sunglasses worn indoors)
7. Ethnic clothing that is not of your ancestry
8. All-black outfits
9. Extra creative French braids
10. “No makeup” makeup
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