Iguana Green went traipsing thru the undergrowth, the stub of a burned-out cigarette hanging from the side of her mouth and a bottle of Jack tied to her tail. It had been a difficult week in the verdant jungles of Southern Brazil. Just a few weeks prior she’d been lounging effortlessly at a beachfront resort, sipping Mai Tais, all the while trying to achieve the perfect tan so she would look good at the disco, but things didn’t work out as she’d planned.

After the wayward helicopter crashed into her custom-built Iguana estate, everything began to go terribly, terribly wrong, and that’s when Iguana Green began to change color. Unlike chameleons, iguanas cannot change color at will. They change as a result of environmental factors, of which a helicopter crash factors in as a veritable disaster by iguana standards. Not only was the event disruptive to her active social life (many of her most cherished companions fled the forest), but to make matters worse, she lost her entire wardrobe!

After that, Iguana Green began to change color at an alarming rate. At first no one seemed to notice that her once verdant skin had shifted to a sickening olive tone, nearly khaki, and then finally, and irrevocably to a drab and unforgiving brown — not coffee brown, hickory or mocha. Not mahogany, carob, chocolate, tawny, penny, cedar, walnut or russet, but the color of a steaming pile of dog poop.

Embarrassed, she refused to leave the house until finally, hungry and discouraged, she set out to find a bottle of a new product she’d heard about called Iguana Cure – guaranteed to cover up any and all iguana blemishes including unwanted color shifts. The beauty of this product meant Iguana Green could be any color she wanted at any time. Mondays she was blue — Tuesdays-orange – Wednesdays—yellow and so forth until another boring and predictable week was done. Brimming with new color, back to the disco she went, and the rest, as they say is Iguanistory!

  • William Scott, "Colander, Beans and Eggs," 1948.

  • Vincent van Gogh, "Cypresses," 1889.

  • Paul Cézanne, "Mont Sainte-Victoire with Large Pine," 1887.

  • Francis Bacon, "Study for Portrait of Lucian Freud," 1964.

  • Yves Tanguy, "Time and Again," 1942.